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Lion Jokes

Can You Hear Me Now


Q.Why do the Detroit Lions want a clone?

A.So they would have somebody they could beat.




Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10?

A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10




Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ" !




Q.What do a stolen car and the Lions have in common?

A.No Title.




Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?

A. Put up goal posts




Q. Why did the Lion fan want to shoot a lion on safari?

A. Because it would be the only Lion Trophy he would ever see.




Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions & the Taliban?

A. The Taliban have a running game.




Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?

A. To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there!




Q. How many people does it take to change a lightbulb at Ford Field?

A. Three. One to change it and two to talk about how good the old one was.!




Q. Why are the Lions like a tampon?

A. They are only good for one period and have no second string.




Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a SuperBowl ring?

A. A thief




Q. Why doesn't Flint have a professional football team?

A. Because then Detroit would want one




Q. Why was Wayne Fontes upset when the Detroit Lions playbook was stolen?

A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.




Q. Why did Rodney King want to play for the Lions?

A. Because they don't beat anybody.




Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar




Q. What's the first thing Lions fans will hear when the Lions win the Super Bowl?

A. Their Alarm Clocks




Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Superbowl?

A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!




Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the SuperBowl?

A. The Detroit Lions




Q. What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road




Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football?

A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.